Random Flailing...
2002-12-12 . 3:40 p.m.

I'm trying to listen to music at lunch and ignore the world and people keep waving their hands in front of my face to get my attention so I will help them with their stupid questions.

FECK OFF THE LOT OF YE'S!

I'm busy, okay? Christ on a crutch... Can you not see when I'm getting my boogy on in my £150.00 spinning chair that I have no interest in your f*cking inability to perform basic tasks?

ARRRRRRGHHHH!

(In the time it took me to type that six whole people asked me to help. F.F.S.)

On a lighter note, things are going okay with me and Nicola. We are going to visit the pub next week and then go out in the evening. Her ex has been bombarding her with phone calls and texts all day so I have offered to beat the snot out of him in the nicest possible way until he gets the picture but she politely declined. My confidence is slightly increased by how well we are getting on. Both of us have some shit going on right now so I know we'll have a lot to talk about...

So on with the show - A couple of random things for your enjoyment.

Christian Boxing Clubs -

Imagine the scene. All decked out in the boxing finery two men square up to one another. One feints with a straight right, then quickly jabs with a left...

The punch connects and his opponent goes down. He slowly gets up with a three count and then promptly turns the other cheek waiting for his next punch.

Turn the other cheek? Who thought of that? What imbecile looked at the history of God's people (filled with war and conflict) and said that they should act all soft all of a sudden. That's almost as stupid as saying the meek shall inherit the Earth (which they won't).

Errrr....Errrr.....

People who can't form coherent sentences piss me off. If you start a conversation I expect you to finish it. Saying errrrrr every other word is possibly the most annoying thing when you work in a call centre (next to people eating at you - which is my main hatred). Why call if you don't know what you're calling for? Here's a tip you bastards. Get your eating done before hand instead of shovelling in crisps as if your life depended on it. Write down what you want done then (and only then) pick your phone up to mess with my head. Gits

Nelly and that F*cking Plaster

WHAT in the name of f*ck is that all about?! Do you keep cutting exactly the same damn place when you shave? Do you want lessons in shaving? I can post you a drawing - you munter. F*cking hell, hip-hop artistes with band-aids as fashion statements.

Can't wait to see the next stage - mummys swathed in bandages swigging 40's and driving around in Bentleys. The lead guy can be called "Nile-ly". I'll just go and get me coat...