Ooooh..... Where did he come from?
2003-11-21 . 5:32 p.m.

Today's subtitle

Paul's Guide To Immortality

Hi guys and gurls (sic...)

I just thought I'd share two of my fantastic ideas regarding eternal life -

Option 1 -

Remember how smoking takes 5 minutes off your life? Here's what you do...

Take more than five minutes to smoke - you will actually gain time! If you spend 8 minutes smoking each cigarette and smoke 20 a day thats 1 hour per day! With a decade of smoking under your belt thats an 5 extra months life you've gained. You will have yellow fingers and teeth, skin like leather and taste like an ashtray but you will also be in the Guiness Book of Records...

Option 2 (can be combined with Option 1 only under supervision) -

Remember that time flies when you are having fun? Here's what you do...

Act like a miserable curmudgeon (I do so love that word...) all the time. If you aren't having fun then time will pass by slower (much like a Matrix Sequel).

See you in the year 2525 (if man is still alive)!!!