Celebrity Shagfest...
2002-11-30 . 3:07 p.m.

or Man, It's No Wonder You're Single If That's The Sort Of Women You Like...

This will be a strange entry at a guess - It's going to be my "Laminated Celebrity Sex Card" in effect. For those in the unlikely position of having never watched "Friends" - one of the characters, Ross (the nerdy one) has a laminated list of celebrities he is allowed to sleep with. It's quite a funny episode and just for shits'n'giggles I though I'd do one.

WELCOME TO THE TOP FIVE

5 - Winona Ryder

Previously gracing top position, her recent downfall from grace is echoed by her dropping to fifth position. No doubt this will piss her off a lot more than being sent to prison (*)

4 - Angelina Jolie

What can I say. It's a shame we drifted apart but I'm willing to give her a second chance. Oh and at least my name isn't Billy-Bob. What was she thinking?

3 & 2 - Gwen Stefani and Pink

So it's two. So what? In this instance it does actually involve both of them at the same time or I'd just call it off. Separately I would have to say no, but fling them together along with a big bed and lots of vitamins and I'll die a happy man indeed.

1 - Mary Poppins

I know she isn't actually a celebrity per se. I think it may have something to do with how damn "English" she is. She is unattainable and she has given up the having children part of feminity to look after other's children. That red lipstick is also incredibly erotic. And she can fly. Yay!

(*) - For those of you who haven't read Hodgson - the funniest man alive, check this out - "Neckhole."

This makes me very happy indeed and I shall be looking out for Winona Ryder on the Meet-an-Inmate site.