Tonight Matthew, I'm Going to Be...
2002-11-29 . 11:28 p.m.

Welcome to tonight's "happy" entry. Damn.

I wish I hadn't posted my big rant about being depressed now. It cuts down on a big percentage of my bottled up "Teenage-Angst(tm)"

Anyway. Now that I am fully within the boozed up part of the evening (my hands are shaking - is that a good sign?) I shall now endeavour to entertain all 28+ members of my coterie...

So. Babes and stuff. Lets examine my options shall we.

Chicks That Might Find Paul Possibly Attractive In a Relationship Stylee

Rebecca - She has several tattoos, is attractive, has stuffed animals (see my wanted ad) and in fact danced along to Madonna videos when she was younger. This is very cute indeed.

Ellen - My boss. I just think it would be really funny to fuck my boss and then watch her face as she asked me to take my feet off the desk whilst I imagine her face in ecstacy...

Nicola - Feels sorry for me as she is the lass who identified my angry state the other night. Not entirely sure as to whether this is an advantage or disdvantage. She is, on the other hand, going out with a dickhead. She has the best body in Christendom...

Amy - Marked with the sign "2'" (i.e. "shallow") at birth - Amy has the disctinct advantage of being a ho and moderately attractive. She likes Fletch quite a bit though. She actually bought an electric hair-straightening device to work. This is hard for me to comprehend.

Laura - Hell, I can dream...

(for bonus points identify in what way I am "taking the piss" - if you picked up on the word "RENAL" give yourself a great big hug as I am not there to do so).

I might do a third entry tonight depending on what time "unca fwetch" gets back from the pub and how p*ssed I am.

Needless to say, I am hopelessly in love with all of you. Thanks for reading...