Bathing Stuff
2002-11-20 . 3:31 p.m.

Further to the fantastic excitement that is having several burly chaps running around the house doing our bathroom up (see Uncle Fletcher's latest entry) I came upon a great idea today.

When i get home I'm going to have a bath. Normally I shower but if it's all up and running I'm going to have one of those lovely soaking baths. But then I thought "If I'm going to have a bath I want some stuff to put in it". So with this in mind I thought about bubble bath (too feminine/smelly etc) and other washing thingummybobs.

TING!

(cue a lightbulb)

It was epiphany time in my house - why not have MANLY washing stuff? Like female stuff, but smelling of diesel and smoke and beer. In fact why not just put gravel and/or razor blades in it?

All the face/body maintenance stuff available on the market nowadays is designed for ladies or men who want to have soft, tender skin. I don't want soft, sensitive skin. I want rugged, hard looks. I want to look like Sam Shepard, like Lee Marvin or Clint Eastwood. I want to look like I've been ridden hard and put away wet.

GIVE ME CRAGS! GIVE ME SCAR TISSUE! GIVE ME FROWN LINES!

In my opinion a man ain't a man unless he has some facial deformity due to fighting or elective surgery.

Why do we all insist on modelling ourselves on magazine pictures (which have all been "assisted" with airbrushing and make-up). I want to look like I've experienced life, not sat in a plastic bubble for 26 years. Give it all away. Throw away your facial cleanser, your moisturiser, your acne cream! Give it away i say!

Don't be a slave to manufactured image. Create your own "look". If someone gives you shit 'cos of the way look say "F*ck you, Paul said I could - and he's bigger than you are...Asshat"

Damn. I'm going to have to get some of my "Paul thinks you're beautiful badges" and start handing them out...