Death meets Barry White...
2002-11-19 . 12:19 p.m.

or Morning Voice Syndrome

For those of you out there who are female - this may be a little bit of a shocker.

Men love that morning voice thing. You know, when he wakes up after drinking a bottle of whiskey and smoking 20 marlboro and the first thing out of his mouth sounds like he gargled with gravel before he went to bed.

It sounds like Barry White...like Michael Wincott...like Death Incarnate.

IT'S JUST SOOOOOO MANLY!

I have a fairly deep voice - i was told at school i would have made a good tenor but man, i'd give almost anything to have Michael Wincott's Voice - for those of you who don't know who he is - check this link here

I always have this desperate urge to call people in the morning just so i can do the "Deep Throat" thing (thats X-Files Deep Throat - not the '70s Porn Flick).

"The cat in your house is actually a spy from Tau Ceti IV. Feed it to next doors Alsatian - he's from Sirius"

I want to record LURVE songs (that's right LURVE - not love - that's too small and not moist enough) whilst I still have the voice of Barry "Walrus of LURVE" White.

I want to sell my services to the Hollywood film industry by recording voice overs for movie trailers

"Spork - One Man's quest to find a market for drug-inspired Cutlery"

and it's awesome sequels "Sporkies Revenge!" and "Cutlery Trek III : The Search for Spork"

but then the damn thing runs out half way through. I suppose it's like reverse helium-balloon sucking.

Which is something I never thought I'd say.

Stay tuned because later I may regale you with a tale of "Office Chickens"...

p.s. for those of you unaware of it's awesome power and capabilities - Feel the Power of the Spork here