Cheque Informer...
2002-11-18 . 4:00 p.m.

What an odd title i hear you cry (yes, you, at the back, no the one with the hat...)

What my friends is a Cheque Informer? Is it some dastardly, moustachioed Bank employee who follows you around and points when you buy things?

Is it a dyslexic spy from Czechslovakia?

No, no and thrice no. A Cheque Informer is Scottish for a person who farms chickens

What the f*ck are you on about i hear you say (no, not you again, the one with the flaming torch and pitchfork...)

Ah, yet again you see, i have introduced myself with flair. Prepare yourself for Lessons in Paulisms.

Paulism (verb, colloquial)

Using a fantastically stupid expression to capture the comedic essence in anything. example - Kate (see Evil Shithead in previous entry) takes everything from my house barring the Cot Dylan slept in and some of my clothes.

Normal Human Reaction - Get very angry - stomp around and try and get stuff back. Argue over who owns what.

Paulism - Spend 15 minutes doing an impromptu comedy routine at work pointing out the mentality of someone taking a 10pence soap dish from your house. (yes seriously - a f*cking soapdish - by all means take the TV, Stereo, Video, DVD Player, Sofa, Bed etc but that f*cking soapdish was mine. I bought that soap dish - it was for my own personal soap dish requirements not for you, or your f*cking parents - who are also mental might I add - or even some vague and possible insane person you may meet in the future.)